Wedding Anniversary After Losing a Spouse: 45+ Things to Say

A wedding anniversary after your husband or wife has died is one of the loneliest dates in the year, and almost nobody remembers it. Here are 45+ messages for someone facing one.

Send yours in a free sympathy ecard, or a simple text on the morning.

What to say on the day

1. Thinking of you today. I know what date it is.
2. Thinking of you and remembering Tom today.
3. Today of all days — sending you a lot of love.
4. Remembering your wedding day today, and thinking of you.
5. Thinking of you this morning. I have not forgotten.
6. Today will be a heavy one. I am here if you want company.
7. Thinking of you. Fifty-two years is worth remembering.
8. Remembering her today, and thinking of you.
9. Thinking of you. No reply needed at all.
10. Just so you know somebody else is thinking of him today.
11. Holding you in my thoughts today.
12. Thinking of you. However today goes, that is fine.

Heartfelt messages

1. You had something most people never find. I am so sorry it is a hard date now.
2. Thinking of you both today — because it is still both of you.
3. What the two of you built does not stop existing on this date.
4. Remembering a very good marriage today.
5. Thinking of you. Anniversaries do not stop mattering, and neither does he.
6. I remember your wedding photographs. Thinking of you today.
7. Forty years of marriage is not undone by this. Thinking of you.
8. Thinking of you today, and grateful I knew her.
9. You were a wonderful husband to her. That has not changed.
10. Thinking of you. It is still your anniversary.

For the first one

1. Your first one without him. I am so sorry — thinking of you all day.
2. The first anniversary alone is brutal. Thinking of you.
3. Thinking of you today. There is no right way to get through this one.
4. I am so sorry. Today will be hard and I am here for it.
5. First one without her. Sending a great deal of love.
6. Thinking of you. Do whatever gets you through today and no more.

Years later

1. Thinking of you today, as I do every year on this date.
2. Ten years on and I still remember what today is.
3. Thinking of you. Time passes and the date does not get easier.
4. Remembering him today, as always.
5. Thinking of you. Some anniversaries never stop counting.
6. Still remembering, still thinking of you.
7. Thinking of you today — same date, same love, every year.
8. Remembering your anniversary. She is not forgotten here either.

Offering company

1. I am free all day. Say the word and I will come over.
2. Lunch today, if you want it. Or a walk, or nothing.
3. I will ring this evening. Answer or do not — both fine.
4. Shall we do something, or would you rather be left to it? Either is fine.
5. Coming round with food later. You do not have to talk.
6. Tell me if you would rather not hear from anyone today. I will not take it personally.
7. I am around all week, not just today.
8. Fancy going somewhere he liked? Only if you want to.

Short messages

1. Thinking of you today.
2. Remembering him today.
3. Remembering her today.
4. I have not forgotten.
5. Sending love today.
6. Here if you need anything.
7. Thinking of you both.
8. Holding you in my thoughts.

How to write it

1. Say you remembered the date. That is the entire message — proof somebody else was keeping track.
2. Still call it their anniversary. Most widowed people do, and hearing someone else do it means a great deal.
3. Use their spouse’s name. People stop saying it, and the silence is its own loss.
4. Do not mention moving on. An anniversary is not a progress report.
5. Put it in your calendar. Sending something every year is the single kindest thing you can do here.

Send it

A free sympathy ecard arrives on the day. See also anniversary of a death messages and sympathy for the loss of a spouse:

FAQ

Should you mention a wedding anniversary after someone’s spouse has died?

Yes. It is one of the hardest dates of the year and almost nobody else remembers it, which makes the silence worse than the mention.

Is it still their anniversary?

Most widowed people think so, and hearing someone else say it is often deeply welcome.

What do you say?

That you remembered, plus their spouse’s name. “Thinking of you today. I know what date it is” is enough on its own.

What should you avoid?

Anything about time healing or moving on, and any suggestion that the anniversary should matter less now.

What is a good short message?

“Thinking of you today. I have not forgotten.”

How many years should you keep doing this?

Indefinitely. It becomes more valuable with time, because fewer and fewer people remember.