Congratulations & Milestones

Fostering: 40+ Things to Say

40+ messages for foster carers — on approval, when a child arrives, when a placement ends — plus the questions never to ask.

By Funtastic E Cards Editorial Team 4 min read

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Photo by Damiano Lingauri on Unsplash

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Fostering rarely gets a card. People are not sure whether to congratulate, and are often unsure what to say at all. Here are 40+ messages.

Send yours in a free congratulations ecard.

When they are approved

  1. Congratulations on being approved! A long process, finally finished.
  2. Congratulations! Months of assessments and here you are.
  3. So pleased for you. Congratulations on getting through it all.
  4. Congratulations! Some very lucky children ahead.
  5. Approved at last. Congratulations — you will be brilliant at this.
  6. Congratulations! That process is not easy and you got through it.
  7. So happy for you. Congratulations on becoming foster carers.
  8. Congratulations! Genuinely admiring of what you are doing.

When a child arrives

  1. Thinking of you all as you settle in. Take it slowly.
  2. Welcome to your home, Sam. Thinking of all of you.
  3. Thinking of you this week. No pressure to reply.
  4. Sending love to all of you as you find your feet.
  5. Thinking of you. Settling in takes as long as it takes.
  6. Here for anything — food, lifts, or just company.
  7. Thinking of you all. What a thing you are doing.
  8. No visit unless you want one. Just here.

Acknowledging what it takes

  1. What you are doing is genuinely difficult and genuinely good.
  2. I know this is not straightforward. I admire you for it.
  3. Some of this will be very hard. I am around for those bits too.
  4. You are doing something most people would not. That deserves saying.
  5. Thinking of you. This is a big thing you have taken on.
  6. Whatever this looks like week to week, I am here.
  7. No advice from me, just admiration and a car.
  8. This is a real commitment and I do not underestimate it.

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When a placement ends

  1. Thinking of you. Saying goodbye is the part nobody talks about.
  2. I am so sorry. You loved him properly and that counted.
  3. Thinking of you all this week. This is a loss, whatever the paperwork says.
  4. You gave her something she will carry. I am so sorry it is over.
  5. Thinking of you. Grieving a placement is real grief.
  6. I am here. Take whatever time you need before the next one.

Practical help

  1. I am bringing dinner Thursday. No need to explain anything.
  2. Happy to do school runs while you settle in.
  3. I will take the dog for a fortnight if that helps.
  4. Shopping this week is on me. Send a list.
  5. I can babysit once you are allowed to leave them with me — tell me what the rules are.
  6. Anything at all. Genuinely, just ask.
  7. I will not ask questions about their background. Ever.
  8. Here for the difficult weeks as well as the good ones.

Short messages

  1. Congratulations!
  2. Thinking of you all.
  3. So pleased for you.
  4. Here for anything.
  5. What a good thing to do.
  6. Sending love.
  7. Admiring you from here.
  8. No reply needed.

How to write it

  1. Never ask about the child’s background. It is confidential and it is not your business, however curious you are.
  2. Do not call them lucky. Children in care have usually lost a great deal — “lucky” is not how it feels to them.
  3. Avoid “I could never do that.” Meant as praise, it lands as a reason not to help.
  4. Acknowledge the endings. Placements finish, and carers grieve them with almost no recognition.
  5. Ask what the rules are. Photographs, babysitting and social media all have restrictions, and asking shows you take it seriously.

Send it — and pair it with a gift

A free congratulations ecard works at approval or arrival. See also adoption congratulations and new baby congratulations:

Pair this with a gift

Ideas that suit the occasion, each linked to one product we picked. Prices and availability are set by Amazon and can change.

New Baby Gift

Our pick: I Love You to the Moon and Back (board book)

Best for: New arrivals and baby showers

Occasion: New Baby

Practical, soft, and genuinely useful gifts for new parents.

  • Practical gifts are the most appreciated
  • Easy to ship directly
  • Sizes run small — buy ahead where possible
View on Amazon

New Parent Care Package

Our pick: The Honest Company new mama care set

Best for: The parents rather than the baby

Occasion: New Baby

Snacks, coffee and comforts for two people who are not sleeping. Everyone buys for the baby.

  • Almost nobody else buys for the parents
  • Genuinely used
  • Good for a second baby
  • Less photogenic than baby clothes
View on Amazon

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FAQ

What do you write to new foster carers?

Congratulate them on approval, acknowledge that it is a real commitment, and offer specific practical help.

Should you ask about the child?

Never about their background or family. Ask how the household is doing instead.

What should you avoid saying?

“They are so lucky”, “I could never do that”, and any question about why the child is in care.

What happens when a placement ends?

It is a genuine bereavement for the carers and is rarely treated as one. A message then is often the most valued of all.

What is a good short message?

“Congratulations on being approved! A long process, finally finished.”

Can you send a gift for the child?

Ask first. There are often rules about gifts, photographs and social media, and asking shows you understand that.