Congratulations & Milestones

Empty Nest: 45+ Things to Say

45+ messages for parents whose child has just left home — acknowledging the loss, the funny side, and what to write to the one who left.

By Funtastic E Cards Editorial Team 4 min read

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Photo by Damiano Lingauri on Unsplash

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The house goes quiet in September and nobody sends a card about it. Here are 45+ messages for parents whose child has just left home — and for the child who left.

Send yours in a free thinking of you ecard.

For parents after a child leaves

  1. Thinking of you this week. The house must feel enormous.
  2. Big week. Thinking of you both.
  3. You have done the job properly, which is exactly why they were ready to go.
  4. Thinking of you. It is allowed to be a bit devastating.
  5. Congratulations and commiserations, in roughly equal measure.
  6. Thinking of you. The quiet takes some getting used to.
  7. You raised someone capable of leaving. That is the whole point and it is still hard.
  8. Thinking of you this week. Fancy lunch?
  9. Empty nest, full heart. Thinking of you both.
  10. Thinking of you. They will be back with laundry before you know it.
  11. Big change. Here if you fancy company.
  12. Thinking of you. Proud of you as well as of them.

Acknowledging that it is hard

  1. It is allowed to be a loss even though it is a good thing.
  2. Everyone will tell you how proud you must be. You are also allowed to be sad.
  3. Grieving a bit is normal. It does not mean you wanted them to stay.
  4. The silence in the evenings is the bit nobody warns you about.
  5. You have spent eighteen years making yourself unnecessary. It worked, and it hurts.
  6. Take a while to adjust. There is no rush to enjoy the freedom.
  7. Missing them is not the same as not being pleased for them.
  8. It gets easier, and it is fine that it has not yet.

Looking at the good side

  1. Enjoy the hot water lasting more than four minutes.
  2. The fridge will now contain what you put in it. Small mercies.
  3. Here is to spontaneous plans and an uninterrupted television.
  4. New chapter for them and, if you want it, for you too.
  5. Take the spare room back. You have earned it.
  6. Book something. You are allowed to now.
  7. Twenty years of school runs done. Go and do something for yourselves.
  8. Enjoy the peace. You will miss the noise, but enjoy the peace.

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For the child who has left

  1. Good luck, love. The door is always open and the kettle is always on.
  2. So proud of you. Ring us when you can.
  3. You have got this. And if you have not, come home for the weekend.
  4. Good luck! Homesickness is normal and it passes.
  5. We are so proud of you. Go and enjoy it.
  6. Off you go. We are only ever a phone call away.
  7. Good luck, love. Eat something green occasionally.
  8. Missing you already. Have a brilliant time.

When the last one leaves

  1. Last one out. Thinking of you both — this is a big one.
  2. The end of a very long chapter. Thinking of you.
  3. Twenty-five years of children in the house. Quite a thing to mark.
  4. Thinking of you. The last one leaving is different from the first.
  5. Job done, and done well. Thinking of you.
  6. Here is to whatever comes next for the two of you.

Short messages

  1. Thinking of you this week.
  2. Big change — here if you need me.
  3. Proud of you both.
  4. Fancy lunch?
  5. The house will be quiet. Thinking of you.
  6. Onwards!
  7. Here whenever.
  8. Sending love.

How to write it

  1. Do not lead with how proud they must be. Everyone says it, and it leaves no room for the sadness underneath.
  2. Say the quiet part. Naming the loss is what makes the message land.
  3. Offer company, not perspective. Lunch beats “enjoy the freedom” in the first fortnight.
  4. Check in again in November. The first term is fine; the second is when it settles in properly.

Send it — and pair it with a gift

A free thinking of you ecard suits this well. See also first day of school messages and miss you messages:

Pair this with a gift

Ideas that suit the occasion, each linked to one product we picked. Prices and availability are set by Amazon and can change.

Friendship Gift Set

Our pick: "Good Friends Are Like Stars" ring dish

Best for: Long-distance friends, birthdays, just-because

Occasion: Friendship

Small token + ecard is a powerful combo for friends near or far.

  • Personal feel
  • Mailbox-sized options
  • Quality varies — check reviews
View on Amazon

Self-Care Gift Box

Our pick: Relaxing spa self-care basket

Best for: A friend having a hard month

Occasion: Friendship

Candles, bath things and comfort items for someone who needs looking after.

  • Reads as thoughtful rather than obligatory
  • Good for posting
  • No occasion required
  • Scent is a matter of taste
View on Amazon

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FAQ

What do you say to a parent with an empty nest?

Acknowledge that it is a real loss as well as an achievement, and offer company rather than perspective.

Is it strange to send a card about it?

There is no convention for it, which is exactly why one is noticed. A short note or a lunch invitation both work.

What should you avoid saying?

Leading with “you must be so proud” and rushing them towards enjoying the freedom. Both close down the sadness.

What do you write to the child leaving?

Make clear the door stays open, and keep it light. They are usually more nervous than they let on.

What is a good short message?

“Thinking of you this week. The house must feel enormous.”

When is it hardest?

Often not the first week but the second term, once the novelty has worn off for everyone. Check in then.